The Arab Parrot - COACHELLA DAY 1

June 21, 2009 9:14 PM (go back to main view)

COACHELLA DAY 1

THE PARROT FLEW TO THE DESERT THIS WEEKEND ON ANOTHER DRAINING ADVENTURE JUST TO BRING YOU SHIT HEADZ SOMETHING TO LOOK AT WHEN YOU'RE BORED. IF I NEVER GO BACK TO COACHELLA AGAIN FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE I'M GOOD. SHIT WAS A HIPSTER BURNING MAN. TOO MUCH WALKING & TOO MUCH DRIVING WITH NO SLEEP. THE SHIT WAS BASICALLY A ZOO OF GRAZING HIPPY RETARDS . THE UPSIDE WAS THAT THERE WERE LOTS OF BABES WHICH MADE THE EXPERIENCE BEARABLE. HAD A FEW LAUGHS, RAN INTO SOME GOOD PEOPLE, BUT OVERALL COACHELLA CAN BE SUMMED UP WITH ONE WORD...WACK

ME & GARC RENTED A CAR, OUR FIRST STOP WAS BURGER KING. OUR SECOND STOP WAS NAEEMS HOTEL ROOM TO PICK UP WRISTBANDS. WE KICKED IT FOR A BIT & THEN TOOK OFF CUZ HE WASN'T FEELING TOO WELL. THAT WAS THE LAST TIME WE EVER SAW HIM. HE DIDN'T PERFORM THAT NITE CUZ HE WAS IN THE HOSPITAL GETTING HIS GALL BLADDER REMOVED

THEN WE BOUNCED TO THE FESTIVAL, THERE WERE LIKE 50,000 PEOPLE THERE. IT TOOK ME A SECOND TO TAKE IT ALL IN. HERES ONE OF THE STUPIDEST THINGS I SAW ALL WEEKEND, THE NEW SHUTTER SHADES, MAYBE A LIL COOLER, BUT YOU STILL LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT...

GARC & ABBEY

JOLLY GREEN DUMB ASS

YOU'RE TOO YOUNG TO BE LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT

THE BURNING MAN PEOPLE WERE IN THE CENTER OF THE WHOLE THING BANGING ON POTS AND PANS WITH PIPES, SETTING FIRES, HONKING HORNS & ALL SORTS OF OTHER GAY SHIT.

I LIKE THAT HAT

GARC IS MADLY IN LOVE WITH M.I.A. BUT SHE'S INTO ME

THIS LIL CRY BABY GUPPY TURD USED TO BE SCARED OF ME & NOW SHE WANTS TO MAKE OUT?

& SO DOES MY NEW BFF, TAKEN RIGHT BEFORE HE TOLD ME HE WAS A HUGE PARROT FAN, I CAN RELATE TO THAT

HEAVENS GAY-TE. I DIDN'T GET THIS LOOK, THERE WERE DOZENS OF THESE GOLDEN CLOAKED WEIRDOS RUNNING AROUND. NICE AIR JERUSALEMS BRO

THE MAIN REASON I WAS AT COACHELLA ASIDE FROM TAKING FOTO'S WAS TO SEE MY LIL SISTER ASTRID PERFORM WITH SPANKROCK. AFTER HER & AMANDA PERFORMED WE DECIDED TO JET & GET SOME FOOD. MY FEET WERE KILLING ME, IT WAS THE THIRD TIME I HAD MADE THE WALK BACK TO THE CAR. PARROT TIP: GET YOURSELF A HANDICAP PASS NEXT YEAR & PARK REALLY CLOSE TO THE FESTIVAL INSTEAD OF A MILE AWAY. AS WE WERE DRIVING OUT, OUR RENT A CAR GOT REAR ENDED BY A BUNCH OF UNDER AGE KIDS IN A PRIUS. I'M GLAD I SPLURGED ON THE INSURANCE.

THEY WERE SCARED OF US. I TOLD THEM I'D LET THEM OFF WITH A WARNING & TO NEVER DO THAT AGAIN & CALLED THE DRIVER A GUPPY TURD. THEN WE HAD SOME MORE FINE DINING AT JACK IN THE BOX, SPICY CHICKEN SANDWICHES ARE GOOD. THEN WE EMBARKED ON A ONE HOUR WILD GOOSE CHASE LOOKING FOR THE MUSIC LOVES FASHION PARTY OR WAS IT FASHION LOVES MUSIC. WE ASKED FOR DIRECTIONS LIKE 30 TIMES...NO ONE IN THAT FUCKING TOWN KNOWS WHERE ANYTHING IS, BUNCH OF MORONS LIVING OUT THERE. THE BIRDNIP HAD ME STRESSED OUT & MY SHOULDERS WERE ALL TENSE AS I DROVE AROUND IN CIRCLES. I WAS BITCHIN ABOUT MY LIPS GETTING CHAPPED & GARC CALLED ME NEGATIVE NANCY OR WAS IT DEBBY DOWNER. EVENTUALLY WE FOUND THE FARTY. RIGHT AS I WALKED IN I GOT THE HAND FROM OMOROSA...YOU SUCK

WE KICKED IT FOR A WHILE BUT MY CAMERA DIED PRETTY MUCH RIGHT WHEN WE GOT THERE.

NINJA GAY-DEN

PLEASE DON'T LET MY DAUGHTER BE ONE OF THOSE GIRLS WHO GETS PAID TO BE IN A BIKINI AT A PARTY & JUST ACTS MAD UNCOMFORTABLE THE WHOLE TIME CUZ EVERYONES STARING AT HER

LOUIS (FLAUNT MAGAZINE) HAD EVERYONE BACK AT HIS HOUSE AFTER. AT LIKE 5 AM I COULDN'T STAND TO BE AWAKE ANYMORE. IT WAS TOO LATE TO DRIVE TO WHERE WE WERE SUPPOSED TO STAY & WE DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO GET THERE ANYWAY. SO LIKE AN IDIOT I DECIDED TO GO LAY DOWN IN THE BACK SEAT OF THE CAR WHERE I ENDED UP FALLING ASLEEP. I WOKE UP AT 8 AM WEARING ALL BLACK UNDERNEATH A BLANKET IN A CAR THAT WAS LIKE 100 DEGREES. ITS LIKE WHEN THEY SAY DON'T LEAVE ANIMALS OR BABIES IN A HOT CAR WITHOUT THE WINDOWS SLIGHTLY OPEN, YOU CAN GET BRAIN DAMAGE. MAD GRIMEY. I GOT A COUPLE MORE HOURS SLEEP INSIDE & THEN DECIDED TO GET POSITIVE & TAKE A BIRD BATH.