TO LIVE AND FLY IN L.A. & NY
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August 01, 2008 12:34 AM  (go back to main view)
DEAR PARROT #2: IS MY BF A COKE HEAD?
"Dear Arab,

I just recently started dating this guy...and he is amazing!! he's
hot, fun, more intellectual than me (hard to find), and we have mind
blowing sex. but im starting to suspect he's a cokehead (no offense),
so id thought id ask you...is it possible that its the birdnip alone
that made his personality so bomb? and i need some tips on figuring
out if he does do that shit a lil too much - and what is considered
too much anyway...thanks"

-21 yrs old

TAP:

FIRST OF ALL SHUT THE FUCK UP! THIS IS A DUMB QUESTION ONLY A GUPPY WOULD ASK. ENJOY THE DICK & STOP ANALYZING SHIT. KEEP THIS ANNOYING SHIT UP & YOU'LL BE SITTING THERE TALKING TO YOUR GF'S ABOUT HIS COKE PROBLEM WHILE HE'S IN THE BATHROOM DOING BIRDNIP OFF SOME OTHER GIRLS NIPPLE. THIS DUDE WILL BE GHOST THE MINUTE HE'S TIRED OF HAVING "MIND BLOWING SEX" WITH YOU SO WHO CARES ABOUT THE SIZE OF THE RAILS & WHY YOU LIKED HIM FROM THE JUMP? IT SOUNDS LIKE HE LIKES TO PARTY DOWN & ONE THING THAT DOESN'T MIX W/ PARTYING IS AN ANNOYING CHICK WATCHING YOUR EVERY MOVE JUDGING YOU.
NOW IF HE'S STEALING FROM YOUR PURSE TO BUY BOOGER SUGAR THEN YOU MAY WANT TO ADDRESS THE ISSUE. COCAINE IS GROSS & CAN TURN PEOPLE INTO MONSTERS
HOW MUCH IS TOO MUCH? THAT DEPENDS ON THE PERSON. SOME PEOPLE JUST HIT THE BUNNY SLOPES WHILE OTHERS LIKE
TO
HERE ARE SOME TELL TALE SIGNS TO SPOT A COKEHEAD:

1. DOING SNOOTERS IN BROAD DAY LIGHT OR WHEN YOU WAKE UP FROM DOING IT ALL NIGHT

2. SUGGESTING BUYING ANOTHER BAG AT 6 AM

3. THE PERSON WHOS JAW IS SWIRLING OUT OF CONTROL WITH BREATH THAT SMELLS LIKE TERADACTILE SHIT & WON'T SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT THEMSELVES

4. PEOPLE WHO DON'T SHARE

5. PEOPLE WHO SUCK DICK FOR IT

COOL OUT, HAVE FUN, & JUST ENJOY YOURSELF...THAT'S THE BEST ADVICE I CAN GIVE. IT DOESN'T SOUND THAT SERIOUS. BY THE WAY I'M NOT COKEHEAD ;)
Embedded Media
"SNOWBLIND"

STAY TUNED FOR DEAR PARROT #3..."MY FRIENDS BITING MY STYLE... WHAT SHOULD I DO ?"

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Blog Comments (17):
Posted by P-CASSO on August 01, 2008 9:12 PM
THEARABPARROT@GMAIL.COM
Posted by girl on August 01, 2008 9:10 PM
where do we send our questions too again? i've got a doozy.
Posted by cj on August 01, 2008 9:05 PM
dude the slalom is amazing
Posted by Lili on August 01, 2008 8:45 PM
lol
Posted by Kal Vilmer on August 01, 2008 7:26 PM
This just inspired me to nip out tonight and I ain't got tits!! Thanks for the inspirado. Man check out this flock gathering over here. Musta been narcoleptic on the P.
Posted by nicole on August 01, 2008 3:51 PM
yO bird,
keep bantering bitches & take flight...
i have no idea how i came across your shit... all i know is that i love your perspective! Something about a cross color wearing NY bird that intrigues the hell outta me!

cheers!
Posted by dana on August 01, 2008 3:09 PM
whats a guppy?
Posted by the truth... on August 02, 2008 7:12 PM
Anyone not old enough to know what a guppy is. lol
Posted by max on August 01, 2008 12:58 PM
high comedy
Posted by 21 on August 01, 2008 5:36 AM
wow i feel really retarded now but nonetheless thanks arab! ;)
Posted by abiva on August 01, 2008 1:48 AM
best thing i've read all day, sir.
Posted by heywood ja... on July 31, 2008 10:56 PM
i find most people who would say something like "he is more intellectual than me (hard to find)" are usually the biggest retards!


in other news,T.A.P is basically the raddest dude ever keeping it super official. I'm enjoying these
Posted by Tron on July 31, 2008 10:26 PM
this shit is so real yo, who else is covering these issues? Nobody
Posted by nyc on July 31, 2008 10:11 PM
birdnip = weed right?
Posted by jennifer f... on August 07, 2008 5:10 PM
uh. no. but if that's your name for birdnip....sure.
Posted by AK on August 01, 2008 12:16 AM
GUPPY -T.A.P trademark
Posted by whoopi on July 31, 2008 10:09 PM
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahaha!!!
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