MIDNIGHT MADNESS, THE BIGGEST SHOPPING DAY OF THE YEAR. I DON'T NEED SHIT. SALE AT THE OUTLETS IN JEFFERSON OHIO. WE SAID FUCK IT LETS SEE SOME PEOPLE. WE GOT OFF THE HIGHWAY & HIT CRAZY TRAFFIC. I THOUGHT WE WERE IN A RECESSION, WHAT THE FUCK ARE ALL THESE BROKE PEOPLE DOING OUT HERE IN THEIR PAJAMA'S LOOKING FOR DEALS ON SHIT THEY DON'T NEED LIKE A COACH BAG
WE DON'T WAIT ON LINES SO WE DROVE UP THE SHOULDER TO THE FRONT THEN DROVE ACROSS A FIELD, CUT THRU A FREEWAY ENTRANCE, DROVE UP A CURB & PARKED IN SOME OTHER FIELD. THEN WE TROOPED DOWN A HILL & ACROSS A FREEWAY TO GET TO THIS
POWER TOOL STORE WAS CRACKING. THERE WERE LINES THAT WENT FOR A MILE. THERE WAS NO LINE AT MAURICES
RIGHT AFTER I TOOK THIS 3 STATE TROOPERS ROLLED UP ON ME. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I'M TAKING A PICTURE OF MAURICES, I NEVER SEEN ONE BEFORE. 2 OF EM LOOKED AT ME LIKE I WAS HAD BOMBS UNDER MY NORTHFACE. THE SHORT ONE WHO THOUGHT HE WAS SO HARD GOES WHERE ARE YOU FROM? I SAID I'M DRIVING FROM LA TO NY. THEN HE GOES WHY? CUZ I FEEL LIKE IT BITCH. FUCK YOU WHY. HE GOES YOU GOT ID? I SAID YEAH & PULLED MY SHIT OUT. THEN HE DOES THAT MOVE WHEN HE PUTS HIS HAND ON HIS SHOULDER RADIO & CALLS IN MY DRIVERS LICENSE NUMBER. I GO IS IT MY BEARD? MY MOM SAID I SHOULD SHAVE IT BEFORE I WENT CROSS COUNTRY. HE GOES YEAH & YOU NEED TO GET A HAIRCUT... LIKE THIS ONE & HE TAKES HIS HAT OFF & SHOWS ME HIS DIPSHIT MILITARY CUT. FINALLY LET ME GO & I ASKED TO TAKE A PIC OF THEM & THEY SAID NO & JUST WALKED AWAY. THEN THEY GO BE CAREFUL. BE CAREFUL? LAST TIME I CHECKED YOU CAN TAKE PICS OF A STORE IN AMERICA. IF I WAS ONE OF THESE WHITE GIRLS WALKIN AROUND IN PJ'S & SLIPPERS I'D BE GOOD RIGHT. YEAH GUYS I'M A TERRORIST HANGING OUT IN JEFFERSON OHIO PLOTTING TO BLOW UP A MAURICES. PEOPLE LOOKED AT ME WIERD ALL NIGHT LONG. I HAVE A FEELING IF I KICKED IT IN JEFFERSON OHIO FOR A LONG ENUFF I'D PROLLY END UP IN A DITCH SOMEWHERE...

ANYWHERE THERE'S SALES GOIN ON YOU CAN FIND NON ENGRISH SPEAKING ASIANS WALKING AROUND WITH ARM FULLS OF GOLF WEAR
I ASKED LIKE 20 PEOPLE TO TAKE THEIR PICTURE & THEY ALL SAID NO.
HAD TO GET THESE
IT WAS 3:30 AM WE WERE LIKE LETS GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE. WE STOPPED BY WENDYS ON THE WAY BACK TO THE CAR
WENDY'S LIL BROTHER WAS THERE STEADY MOPPING
WE DROVE TO COLUMBUS & GOT A ROOM. THE SUN WAS RISING AS WE TRIED TO FALL ASLEEP. YO JEMZ NICE AMERICAN APPAREL BOOTY SHORTS
WE OVER SLEPT, DIDN'T GET ON THE ROAD TO NYC TILL 4:30 PM. GOT TO NY AT LIKE 1 AM. JAMES DROPPED ME OFF ON CANAL. FELT SO GOOD TO NOT BE IN A CAR. WENT INTO A BODEGA TO BUY SOME TOOTHPASTE

RAN INTO WYATT. HE'S GOT ONE IN THE OVEN
THEN I WALKED OVER TO MOTOR CITY
HAD SOME DRINKS, GOT MY BEAK WET THEN WENT TO THE BTRIZ


FELT GOOD TO BE BACK IN NY. WENT TO SOME CRIB AFTER. THE TRANSPORTER RODE UP IN THE ELEVATOR WITH US
5 AM
WOKE UP IN BK AT 1:30 NEXT TO A NICE LIL BIRDY
TOOK A CAB TO LA GUARDIAMIAMI BOUND. WE BOTH GOT AISLE SEATS. HALF WAY THRU THE FLIGHT I DECIDED TO CLEAN OUT MY BACK PACK & I PULLED THESE SCISSORS OUT
FROM OUTTA NO WHERE SOME DUDE ROLLED UP & WAS LIKE HOW DID YOU GET THOSE SCISSORS PAST SECURITY? I WAS LIKE I DUNNO DUDE WHY DON'T YOU GO ASK THEM?

TRUE

STAY TUNED FOR FART BASIL

CLARA