THINK I MENTIONED I USED TO BE A STOCK BROKER ONCE UPON A TIME. BLUE HORSE SHOE LOVES ARAB PARROT. SQUAWK TIP...BUY KO & BUD

MCNUGGET BIRD
MONDAY FLEW OVER TO MOTOR CITY. LEFT THE CAGE & FORGOT THE BIRDBERRY. LATER REALIZED I ALSO FORGOT HOUSE KEYS
URBAN COWBOY. FREE SHOTS OF BROWN
TOM BROKOFF. BAD SHAPE. HOMEYS SAID THEY WERE GOIN TO LIT. I FLEW OVER BUT IT WAS DEADLY. THEN TO THE JANE, SHIT WAS CACA. DUDE FROM COLDGAY WALKIN ROUND WITH HIS AWARD, BORED OF SMASHIN PALTROW FOR SURE
FRENCH BIRD
DRUNK
AROUND 3 AM WHEN I TOOK A CAB BACK TO CAGE TO CALL IT A NIGHT. HAD CODE TO GET INTO THE BLDG. BUT WHEN I GOT TO THE DOOR I REALIZED I DIDN'T HAVE MY KEY. ALL 4 PEOPLE I'M STAYING WITH WEREN'T HOME. STUMBLED BACK TO MOTOR CITY & STROBECK MTN. HIT ME W MORE KNOBS CREEK, PAUSE. HAD MY HEAD ON THE BAR AFTER THAT. 4 AM WALKED BACK TO THE CAGE THINKIN SOMEONE WOULD BE HOME BY NOW. STILL NO ANSWER. DUNZO. LAID ON FLOOR OF THE STAIRCASE, SWEATSHIRT PILLOW, PASSED OUT WITHIN 30 SECONDS...HERE
SOMEONE WALKED BY AND TOOK THIS FLICK THAT'S BEEN FLOATING AROUND

WOKE UP TO SOMEONE KICKING MY FOOT AT 8 AM. PICKED MY HEAD UP & WAS LIKE WTF YO? COPS. SOMEONE CALLED EM THINKIN I WAS A HOMELESS DUDE. GUESS I AM. LUCKILY THEY DIDN'T ASK FOR ID CUZ I GOT A WARRANT. SAID I COULDN'T SLEEP HERE & WALKED ME OUT THE BLDG. & SAID GO SLEEP IN THE PARK. STILL DRUNK & SO THIRSTY. IT FELT SO SICK WALKING OUT INTO DAYLIGHT SURROUNDED BY THE CHINESE WHO PRETENDED THEY DIDN'T HEAR OR UNDERSTAND ME WHEN I ASKED FOR THE TIME
SPENT MY LUCKY 2 DOLLAR BILL ON A SNAPPLE & LAID ON A BENCH. THINK I'VE SPENT LIKE A 100 BUCKS ON SNAPPLES IN THE LAST 2 WEEKS
WOKE UP AN HOUR LATER NOT LOOKIN SO HOT, BURPIN UP ONIONS FROM THE HOT DOGS
WALKED BACK TO THE SPOT BUT STILL NO ONE HOME. ALL THIS CUZ I LEFT MY BIRDBERRY BEHIND. WENT BACK TO MY BENCH, WATCHED SOME SOCCER, THEN FELL ASLEEP TILL LIKE 10:30. THIS TIME WHEN I WENT BACK & SOMEONE WAS HOME. CRASHED FOR HOURS. SUCKED
NEXT NITE
THOUGHT I WAS SEEING SHIT
WENT OUTSIDE TO PEEP HER. NOT ONLY WAS SHE COVERED UP & NOT TALKIN BUT WHEN I ASKED HER NAME SHE WHISPERED SOME SHIT TO HER FRIEND AND HE GOES TO ME "SHE SAID SHE'S ALL GOOD." IT WAS KIND OF CREEPY. I WANTED TO RIP THAT THING OFF HER HEAD SO BAD. LATER SOMEONE TOLD ME IT WAS MEGAN FOX
I FEEL YOU
MY CAMERA FELL DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS THAT NIGHT BUT IT STILL WORKS

SLIMES TIGHT

TALONS DOWN
THOUGHT THIS WAS HER STEEZ TILL SHE PULLED HER SKIRT DOWN

CAN'T TAKE CREDIT FOR THIS ONE




THIS EPISODE BROUGHT TO YOU BY COUNTRY CLUB MALT LIQUOR
730
PFIZER